Chococat Where Are You?

It saddens us all to inform you that Chococat has “gone missing” since last Friday. We are beset with ourselves with what could have happened to him! We have circulated “Reward – Lost Cat” all over town and might consider a national campaign if he doesn’t turn up!

We contacted the local FBI office and a field agent was sent to investigate what might have happened to Chococat. He believes that there could be three possible causes.

1)  Someone left the front door of the building open and Chococat  ran away. Perhaps forced by his heavy conscience for all the coffee he’s been taking.  Apparently the FBI knows of  “Chococats Coffee Adventures” and has been on his trail for some time now!

2) Chococat was abducted by Aliens to study how a seemingly innocent cat can infiltrate such well protected business without anyone noticing his mischievous ways! It seems that the Aliens might want to take pointers from Chococat to use in their own “Probing” efforts!

 

3) Chococat infiltrated a Mob connected  business and unknowingly made off with Mob controlled coffee! The Mob came and kidnaped Chococat to send a message to all that might think about getting their coffee for free!

 

We are very anxious and overwhelmed with what has happened. We urge anyone that might have any information regarding Chococats whereabouts to let us know or call the FBI directly. 

Lost, No More…

About 9 weeks ago the last episode of Lost aired on TV. Yes I’ll admit it I was a fan, a follower, a devotee. Hello my name is Pkitass (hanging head) and I am a Lostie. It has been 65 days since I last watched the season finale of Lost, however, every Tuesday at 8:55 PM the alarm on my phone goes off. I get so excited the second I hear the alarm go off! It’s time to sit down and enjoy an hour of my favorite show! Then it kicks in, or my annoying daughter reminds me, that “no” there isn’t a new episode to watch.

I know I should remove the reminder from my phone and stop torturing myself; but I’m not ready to let go just yet.   Since there isn’t a rehab center, and I haven’t found a support group for my problem, I’ll continue watching random Lost episodes on Netflix and replaying this YouTube video.

All I know is ” We Gotta Go Back”

 I’ll never be lost again by The InJustive League

Missy Missing Email Thread

I know how it feels to lose a pet, last year my little “Pepper”, Paprika’s sister, was stolen from the office. I searched everywhere and did everything humanly possible. Called all vets, clinics, animal shelters and pet stores to alert them about my loss and to have them post my flyers. I made large posters and walked the streets at night hanging them up, offered a reward, posted on craigslist, LA Times, Twitter…..etc….. you get the idea. After several months with no good or bad news I gave up. To this day all I can ask and hope for is that she was taken by someone who loves and cares for her.

So, you see, I do know it’s sad and heartbreaking to lose a pet but I must admit the following email exchange I just read is brilliantly funny. Shannon Walkley (the secretary) has lost her cat Missy and has asked David Thorne I believe to be the graphic designer to help make a lost pet poster. Make sure you read it from start to finish, seriously, just read this in its entirety, from the top.

Enjoy

——————————————————————————————————

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

found on 27B/6