Archive | July, 2010

EVIL KITTY STRIKES BACK

29 Jul

EPISODE V
OFFICE WARS II
 THE EVIL CAT STRIKES BACK

That opening crawl says it all! The EVIL OFFICE CAT Darth Kitty has struck again! In his continued obsession to annoy every living organism in the office, Darth Kitty has reached a new pinnacle in his unrelenting aggravation of the office personnel.  It all began very innocently, much like young Anakin Skywalker before he turned to the dark side, with irritating , all be it customary, cat issues.  
CAT HAIR all over the place! And I mean ALL OVER THE FREAKING PLACE! It just won’t stop! Cat hair on the counters, Cat hair on the computers, Cat hair on monitors, Cat hair on shelves, Cat hair on couches, Cat hair on books, Cat hair on the fridge, Cat hair IN THE FRIDGE (haven’t figured how that has happened yet), Cat hair in the Sink, Cat hair on the toilet, Cat hair on the stairs, Cat hair floating in the air! I bet you if I open a brand new, just bought from the store, bag of chips…. You guessed it! Somehow, someway, there will be cat hair in the unopened bag of Chips! I’m not sure if I am describing the cat hair situation thoroughly enough! Be as it may, there is Freaking Cat Hair EVERYWHERE!! Cough, Cough… You guessed it! More cat hair!
So one can say, “well that’s just one of the drawbacks of owning a cat”, and I would usually agree! This isn’t exactly my first rodeo! This sassy lady has been around the block a few times! Heck! MORE than a few times! I have owned my share of cats! Border lining the neighborhood Cat-lady even.  But never, and I truly mean NEVER, have I ever had to put up with this non-relenting, immeasurable, inexhaustible, boundless, endlessly vast quantities of Cat Hair!
Ok, ok… I’m an animal lover and can put up with the hair. Cause he’s such a cool office cat… Right?  Great Personality? Great Companion? Nooooope! He is the most annoying cat you can imagine! He has a very demanding personality; he will do whatever he wants whenever he wants to do it! Come and jump on the counter and meow at office guests? No problem! Go and lay down on the keyboard and exit (without saving) everything his fat behind sits on! Yuuup! Knocking everything over as he jumps from one counter to another to another! Yuuuuup! Do you see the picture here?
So what else has he done to annoy the office so much you ask? Why I will tell you! We can’t leave the front door open, at all! Anytime he sees a 6” gap opening in the front door he tries to run out to the front and eat wild grass! This is California you know! Even the evil cat DARTH KITTY wants his “medical issue grass”.  The odors that emanate from his litter box are just unholy! There’s no other way of putting it! You have never smelled such a cornucopia of odors!
Young  “Master” has vowed to defend the office from the evil Darth Kitty and tries to dissuade the evil Sith Lord from continuing  his oh so very annoying ways! However, Darth Kitty has sought many vengeful acts of revolt! He has deliberately gone and PEEED on one of the office couches! Have you ever smelled cat pee??? It’s not normal like human pee or doggie pee. Nope! This is industrial strength, cant breath without a military grade gas mask on, kind of smell.  It is pungent and incredibly overpowering! Yet the rebel office alliance, under the leadership of young “ Master”, still endures the constant annoying assaults of Darth Kitty.
Why not get rid of the cat you ask? Well it gets complicated. Darth Kitty has his own Evil Emperor Lord. Let’s call her “TCI Emperor”. “TCI Emperor” is the only entity, because even all the doggies are pissed off at the cat that truly enjoys his company. She can tolerate the annoying hair, the running outside, the stinky poopy, even the eye watering pissed off cat pee that’s on the couch. She is his protector, his lord. Like yoda said about the Sith, “Always two there are, no more, no less. A lord and an apprentice”

The Latest act of aggression from Darth Kitty was yesterday. As if it’s not bad enough that he has his cat hair all over the place, tries to escape anytime the door is opened, has toxic poop, pees on the couch and clothing as revenge, we have discovered a new weapon of the empire!

CLAWS! DARTH KITTY CAT CLAWS! Used ever so consistently to make holes in the black leather chairs in the front entrance to the building… Fucking Cat! He couldn’t have picked a more expensive scratch post? Maybe this is precursor of things to come. Like the Death Star under reconstruction! Is Darth Kitty Sharpening his claws, his weapons, in anticipation of future battles? What evil plan does the empire and DARTH Kitty have in store for the rebel office alliance?

Tune in to the next episode

EPISODE VI

OFFICE WARS III

 RETURN OF THE “MASTER”

Humming Stars wars theme: Nah Nah ,Nah Nah, Nah Nah .  Na Na Na Naaaaa Na. Na na na Naaaaaa na. Na Na Na Naaaaaaa na. na na na na…

Tiki Tiki Sleeping……

28 Jul
 
 
Sharing the joys of having Tiki Tiki.
 
 

Lost, No More…

27 Jul

About 9 weeks ago the last episode of Lost aired on TV. Yes I’ll admit it I was a fan, a follower, a devotee. Hello my name is Pkitass (hanging head) and I am a Lostie. It has been 65 days since I last watched the season finale of Lost, however, every Tuesday at 8:55 PM the alarm on my phone goes off. I get so excited the second I hear the alarm go off! It’s time to sit down and enjoy an hour of my favorite show! Then it kicks in, or my annoying daughter reminds me, that “no” there isn’t a new episode to watch.

I know I should remove the reminder from my phone and stop torturing myself; but I’m not ready to let go just yet.   Since there isn’t a rehab center, and I haven’t found a support group for my problem, I’ll continue watching random Lost episodes on Netflix and replaying this YouTube video.

All I know is ” We Gotta Go Back”

 I’ll never be lost again by The InJustive League

The CIA & A Korean Hangover

26 Jul

It’s Monday once again and I’m sure you’re all SOOOOOO very anxious to find out what I did this weekend! What shenanigans did I get myself into? What adventures did I go on? Let’s see what did I do? Saturday I went on a very dangerous task at Costco to purchase some needed items. Just finding a parking space on the weekend at Costco is an adventure in itself. I won’tsay what was purchased because that’s not important, nor very interesting! What was important was that I taste as MANY free samples they give out as possible! It has become very difficult to navigate through the gaggle of shoppers lined up for freebies. It is even more difficult to disguise yourself, on the fly at Costco, so you can get more than one sample from the same sample stand! Needless to say, I am a wonder with hats and other clothing items they sell at Costco, the CIA would be impressed! All I need to bring with me is a fake mustache from now on! I think the sausage vendor is getting suspicious! Once I felt I had accomplished my mission, I returned to the office, and like the lazy bum that I am, had really nothing else to do. I grabbed my usual jug of ice and sat outside with my entourage of doggies. Master and I tried to get them all in one picture but somehow when he said “cheese” they thought it was a treat and would run to find “cheese”. I think we got 9 out of 10 in the picture not bad if I say so myself.  

Now dinner that’s where things get fun and interesting! Master suggested, in his infinite wisdom, to go to an all you can eat Korean BBQ! I’m not one to say no to a free dinner, so off we went! Have you ever been? If not, I’ll walk you through it! First, and oh so so so very important, you make sure to bring an appetite. Not a regular appetite, I’m talking about the industrial strength, haven’t eaten for days, last meal of your soon to end life kind of appetite. Once seated at your table, you are brought a bowl of soup and all sorts of side dishes called “banchan” in korean. This includes: kimchi (a traditional Korean dish, made of fermented vegetables with varied seasonings), Kongnamul (Cold boiled bean sprouts with sesame-oil), Japchae ( glass noodles accompanied with a variety of vegetables and beef in a slightly-sweet garlic sauce), Pickled seaweed (Self explanatory), Korean-style potato salad (made with apples and carrots). Along with all these side dishes they also give various salty, pungent, tangy, and spicy dipping sauces, a very crisp and lively salad, rice paper and a bowl of steamed rice. Oh let’s not forget the GINORMOSE plate full of raw meat! (do I hear angels singing Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in the background?) The meat consists of paper thin slices of brisket-(my absolute favorite), Bulgogi-(Literally means “fire meat” thin slices of sirloin that is marinated with a mixture of soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil garlic and other ingredients), Gailbi-(generally refers to a variety of grilled dishes that is made of cross cut beef short ribs), Pork Belly-(Imagine a super thick super size piece of bacon). Once you get your meat, you cook it right there at the gas BBQ that’s built directly into your table!!! When you think that your meat supply or side dishes have diminished to dangerously low levels, you simply ring the bell and the waiter brings more of what you ask! What a perfect concept!  

 All you can eat Korean BBQ is not for the week of heart or for amateurs! It has taken me years of training to get to my current plate count. Needles to say we stuffed ourselves silly! Master and I could both sense the amazement within the wait staff when we kept ordering plate upon plate upon plate of meaty goodness! I wonder if we broke any internal record for the amount of meat eaten in one sitting by two people. I never understood why all the waiters humbly bowed in amzement and clapped vigorously as we left? Huh! Wait a minute! Maybe we did break some sort of record! Needless to say, I ate sooooo much meat that, on Sunday, I woke up with a Korean BBQ Meat hangover (it’s a real medical symptom! Look it up!) and could do nothing all day. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!! 
An all you can eat Korean BBQ meal is a very fun and yummy experience that everyone should try at least once.   

Getting ready to eat.

The Cool Kid On The Block

24 Jul
Its official! SiSi is a proud member of the “Cool Kids” (giggeling uncontrollably! Ha ha ha! Cool kids) I, like most of you know, since you read my blog religiously, have been taking SiSi to consult an orthodontist these past few weeks. Well…..enough with the consultations! Today was the day of days we went in to have her braces installed.  She told me yesterday that she was excited and scared at the same time. She had major concerns that she wouldn’t look cool enough to fit in with the rest of the Cool crowd, and only slightly concerned about the pain factor.  Can you imagine! She was so excited to get her braces that she even woke up on her own! I didn’t have to kick her out of bed or pour water on her like I usually do every day.  What’s next? She’s going to start craving broccoli? This girl was clearly not my daughter! She was up, showered and ready to go before I was.

At the orthodontist, before the installation of the medieval metal mouth torture pieces, we were given a little lesson about how to care for the braces and what she can and cannot eat.  I did get a laugh or two when she was told about how to care for the head gear, the look on her face was priceless. Her eyes popped out and in an expression of downright shock descended upon her face; I could tell she was ready to back out.  “No one had ever mentioned about wearing headgear” she protested irritably.  Good thing she doesn’t need to use headgear at all, it’s just something they say in their speech.

After almost 3hours sitting in the reception area, with a quick in and out visit from Chula, and withholding the urge to answer their phones (they sound just like the phones at work), Sisi finally came out all smiles and so very proud of her new braces!!!! He He He…. Im still giggeling about her thinking she’s a cool kid!!!!

one cool kid

Love Will Keep Us Together

22 Jul

We were watching an episode of The Cleveland Show tonight.   In this particular episode Cleveland and Donna are  competing in the Broken Stool’s karaoke contest.  They sing a Captain & Tenille song from 1975 “Love Will Keep Us Together”.  I had to look it up on Youtube after the show finished.  The song takes me back to my childhood days.

Days when dancing and singing, in the living room, were a common everyday thing with my mother.

My Private Space

21 Jul

When I’m out working the streets, not as a lady of the night, but rather dropping off or picking up things for the office, obstacles always seem to get in the way. There are days where I find myself driving around the same block over and over and over again. Like a merry-go-round at an amusement park, i just seem to go around and around and around and around. I can end up doing this for 20 mins or more especially in downtown LA or Beverly Hills. I don’t even chance trying to park illegally, even if I know it’s only going to be for a second or two, because the minute I take 2 steps away from the car, magically out of nowhere there will be a meter-maid writing up a ticket. And I’m sure all of us have experienced the dreaded conversation where we tell them “but I’m standing right here!” Their ubiquitous response as always, much like the burger joint cashier always asking “would you like fries with that?”, “too late I already started writing the ticket”. Uggggh oh bother!

Maybe I should do as this lady does and make my own parking space.
Don’t you think it’s a great idea?
Let me know what you think?

Who Is This Man?

20 Jul

Ha Ha Ha ha….. I will be laughing all the way to the bakery with Master’s Credit Card.  Master enjoys reading post on MBWorld.org  a Mercedes-Benz Enthusiast Discussion Forum. Today while he was browsing thru the posts, I as always was nosely looking over his shoulder, I mentioned to him that I really liked one of the members signature picture.  

Me: That’s Tony Soprano, right, the actor whats his name

Master: James Gandolfini?

Me: yeah him

Master: You’re crazy, thats not him! Thats the guy from the movie Hit Men.

Me: No it’s not it’s the Sopranos guy!

Master: It’s the guy or one of the guys from Hit Men, this guy looks too thin to be James Gandolfini.

Me: Nope its the Tony Soprano actor

Master: You want to bet on it?

Me: Ok… what?

Master:  Whatever you want.

Me: Ok a pie!

Master: Get ready to lose.

So we both started searching online to find out who this person is. After about 15 mins online and a heated converstation as to who this man was.  We find out that I was RIGHT! Of course I was right I never doubted it!  ok maybe just for a minute…  I know we could have just IM’d the member and asked him but whats the fun in that?

Master when your done reading this please hand over your credit card…………

I’m off to get me some pie.

Chipotle & Tiki Tiki

19 Jul
Sundays are Chipotle Burritos days!  If you’re familiar with Chipotle, then you know how BIG their burritos are! But if you have no clue as to what they look like, then Tiki Tiki would like to show you.  

Tiki Tiki beside a Chipotle Burrito

  By the way SiSI and I both chose steak burritos and Tiki Tiki approved.

Tiki Tiki eating a Chipotle Burrito

still eating

 

Chipotle and Tiki Tiki

AT&T & A Wig

19 Jul

Sometimes bills are simply hard to understand! What do the charges mean? How do they relate to the overall billed amount? Basically, the dots are too hard to connect.

Our two year cell phone contract with AT& T is over.  So, joy of joys, today I have to finally sit down and try to decipher the office cell phone bill. Every month I try, O so very hard, to understand the bill we receive.  To be honest, I rarely even look at the bills anymore and just end up boxing the bills unopened.  Whenever I do vamp up the courage to look over the bill I end up just pulling my hair out.  After a couple of months, I finally gave up because I was going bald. There are so many different kinds of charges! One phone line gets charged only $9.99 another line gets charges over a $100. Go figure! When we first opened the account the monthly charges seemed fine and dandy, however, somehow that amount has been slowly creeping up. Our text messaging plan is unlimited, as is our data plan, we never go over our minutes; actually we end up wasting a lot minutes that we simply don’t use. Yet our bill gets slightly bigger and bigger every month! It’s a magical account!

Ughh….just thinking about it makes my head spin. Why does it have to be so complicated?

The only fun side about it is to see if I can get us all new phones and extra goodies (chargers, batteries, headsets) for free.  Free stuff is always fun!

Oh well I guess I should get on it already (that’s what she said) but first I have to go online to order a hair wig and go take a couple of aspirins