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It’s been a long week

29 Jul

 

Going to try to make throughtoday.

Going to try to make through today.

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O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

17 Nov

Have you ever wanted the earth to open up and eat you up? I have? A couple of evenings ago as I was doing what I do best, minding my own business, going on my merry way with a skip in my walk and a song in my head (la la la la). Yes I was in a good mood!  This was my last stop and after here I could head on back to the office where my Tiki Tiki would see me and act like the greatest thing in the world just walked thru the door. So I’m getting out of the elevator and walking thru the crowd of people who are also ending their day at work and are headed home. I skip toward to the guard desk to return my elevator pass, when out of no where with no warning at all I hear it….

“PKitass I LOVE YOUUU!”

What? Did I just hear my name yelled out? I turn left…. I turn right… Did anyone else hear this or was I just going mad? Had the separation from my Tiki Tiki affected me so badly that I was starting to hear things? Then I hear it again…..

“PKitass I LOVE YOUUU!”

Nope! I’m sure I heard correctly this time! And as a matter of fact, so did everyone else. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE,  turned around to look at all the security guards and valet personnel.  Apparently some love struck, albeit misguided soul, had seen me in the security cameras and had decided that it would be so hilarious to publicly broadcast his love for me over the building’s two way radio system. I didn’t think much of it… Who would really know that it was me anyway! Unfortunately, the 3 security guard and valet guy walking towards me laughing and holding up their radios somewhat announced to the entire building that the message was for me.

Needless to say my face turned a nice crimson red as I searched for the nearest exit and ran out of there leaving just a cartoon cut out of myself and sea of laughter behind me.

1251574583750200236Emergency-exit-sign_svg_med

Mad Scientist At Work

16 Aug

Master has decided to turn everyone in the office into his personal guinea pigs.  Amongst all the other titles he holds: Gigolo, lady killer, God’s gift to women, Daper Don, south of the border he is known as Suavesito, El Don Juan and Papi Chulo; but experimental chef is the one he enjoys using the most.

 And like every great mad scientist throughout history, he too has his secrete lab hidden in the back of the office. It is a fully equipped commercial kitchen that would put most restaurants to shame.  It has practically every piece of heavy duty equipment a trained chef would require, not to mention all the cool tools needed to experiment with the unorthodox science master calls his interpretation of gastronomy!  The office is by no means a restaurant; although we are fully equipped to act like one if needed.  Imagine more a museum of eclectic and unique items in corky yet amazingly classical setting.  As most things in the office are over the top, so is the super kitchen Master calls his lair. We take food very seriously here! Very Seriously! People have been fired for bringing McDonalds to the office! Dominos drivers are afraid to make deliveries on this block!

Master at work, me in the back dancing.

This Saturday Master decided to work on his BBQ technique and purchased half a side of pig to play with. 

I’m not sure what exactly goes on in his lab. All I know is that he started around 1:00 and spent hours mixing spices and herbs. He made dozens of rubs and a myriad of marinades. Sometimes the true mad scientist in him would emerge and he would push the envelope and mix volatile spices together just to see what would happen. Needless to say, the building had to be evacuated more than just once! Thank goodness for that industrial ventilation system in the hood! After hours of work preparing the meat with injections, rubs, and marinades, the ribs were slow smoked for hours and hours. We finally Ate at 8:30! 7 hours of work for super ribs! Can you imagine! Caramelized smoky crust, so succulent that the juices would freely run down the side of your mouth, so tender the luscious meat simply falls of the bone! You don’t even need any teeth!

If being experimented on is going to be like this; this little guinea pig does not want to be freed from the lab. Oink Oink Baby!

My Private Space

21 Jul

When I’m out working the streets, not as a lady of the night, but rather dropping off or picking up things for the office, obstacles always seem to get in the way. There are days where I find myself driving around the same block over and over and over again. Like a merry-go-round at an amusement park, i just seem to go around and around and around and around. I can end up doing this for 20 mins or more especially in downtown LA or Beverly Hills. I don’t even chance trying to park illegally, even if I know it’s only going to be for a second or two, because the minute I take 2 steps away from the car, magically out of nowhere there will be a meter-maid writing up a ticket. And I’m sure all of us have experienced the dreaded conversation where we tell them “but I’m standing right here!” Their ubiquitous response as always, much like the burger joint cashier always asking “would you like fries with that?”, “too late I already started writing the ticket”. Uggggh oh bother!

Maybe I should do as this lady does and make my own parking space.
Don’t you think it’s a great idea?
Let me know what you think?

Who Is This Man?

20 Jul

Ha Ha Ha ha….. I will be laughing all the way to the bakery with Master’s Credit Card.  Master enjoys reading post on MBWorld.org  a Mercedes-Benz Enthusiast Discussion Forum. Today while he was browsing thru the posts, I as always was nosely looking over his shoulder, I mentioned to him that I really liked one of the members signature picture.  

Me: That’s Tony Soprano, right, the actor whats his name

Master: James Gandolfini?

Me: yeah him

Master: You’re crazy, thats not him! Thats the guy from the movie Hit Men.

Me: No it’s not it’s the Sopranos guy!

Master: It’s the guy or one of the guys from Hit Men, this guy looks too thin to be James Gandolfini.

Me: Nope its the Tony Soprano actor

Master: You want to bet on it?

Me: Ok… what?

Master:  Whatever you want.

Me: Ok a pie!

Master: Get ready to lose.

So we both started searching online to find out who this person is. After about 15 mins online and a heated converstation as to who this man was.  We find out that I was RIGHT! Of course I was right I never doubted it!  ok maybe just for a minute…  I know we could have just IM’d the member and asked him but whats the fun in that?

Master when your done reading this please hand over your credit card…………

I’m off to get me some pie.

AT&T & A Wig

19 Jul

Sometimes bills are simply hard to understand! What do the charges mean? How do they relate to the overall billed amount? Basically, the dots are too hard to connect.

Our two year cell phone contract with AT& T is over.  So, joy of joys, today I have to finally sit down and try to decipher the office cell phone bill. Every month I try, O so very hard, to understand the bill we receive.  To be honest, I rarely even look at the bills anymore and just end up boxing the bills unopened.  Whenever I do vamp up the courage to look over the bill I end up just pulling my hair out.  After a couple of months, I finally gave up because I was going bald. There are so many different kinds of charges! One phone line gets charged only $9.99 another line gets charges over a $100. Go figure! When we first opened the account the monthly charges seemed fine and dandy, however, somehow that amount has been slowly creeping up. Our text messaging plan is unlimited, as is our data plan, we never go over our minutes; actually we end up wasting a lot minutes that we simply don’t use. Yet our bill gets slightly bigger and bigger every month! It’s a magical account!

Ughh….just thinking about it makes my head spin. Why does it have to be so complicated?

The only fun side about it is to see if I can get us all new phones and extra goodies (chargers, batteries, headsets) for free.  Free stuff is always fun!

Oh well I guess I should get on it already (that’s what she said) but first I have to go online to order a hair wig and go take a couple of aspirins

Missy Missing Email Thread

14 Jul

I know how it feels to lose a pet, last year my little “Pepper”, Paprika’s sister, was stolen from the office. I searched everywhere and did everything humanly possible. Called all vets, clinics, animal shelters and pet stores to alert them about my loss and to have them post my flyers. I made large posters and walked the streets at night hanging them up, offered a reward, posted on craigslist, LA Times, Twitter…..etc….. you get the idea. After several months with no good or bad news I gave up. To this day all I can ask and hope for is that she was taken by someone who loves and cares for her.

So, you see, I do know it’s sad and heartbreaking to lose a pet but I must admit the following email exchange I just read is brilliantly funny. Shannon Walkley (the secretary) has lost her cat Missy and has asked David Thorne I believe to be the graphic designer to help make a lost pet poster. Make sure you read it from start to finish, seriously, just read this in its entirety, from the top.

Enjoy

——————————————————————————————————

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
image1

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
image2


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

image3

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

image4

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

image5

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

image6

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

image7

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

image8

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

found on 27B/6

Sync in Progress

1 Jul

 

Yesterday, there was a surprise waiting at the office. Aside from my Facebook account beeing hacked into, Master and I received our new iphone4s! Woohoo!!!  The phone itself is really nice, pictures seem clearer and it’s a lot faster than my old iphone. Everything looks and works great so far, although I’m still play around with it. The only problem I ran into, which annoyed me to no end, was the backing up of the old iphone. I’m pretty sure I aged a couple of years and my hair grew 10 inches longer just waiting for the darn backup procedure to finish.  It took me 4hrs last night and nearly 6hrs today for Master’s iphone to backup.  Every 30 minutes or so  I would check on the iphone just to find myself  looking at same three words  I had been seeing for the past 2- 3 hrs. “Sync in Progress”

Well that’s all over with now at least. Now if you excuse me I need to go fuel up with caffeine so I can figure out how to reinstall my apps, music & podcast into my new awesome iphone 4.

My Bubble Wrap, Your Package

23 Jun

Maybe it’s just me but I like to save any sort of packing materials (peanuts, bubble wrap, those little air pillows) especially since I re’use them to package and ship out orders.  I also will go out of my way to pick up bubble wrap if  I happen to see some at a drop off or pick up location.

Today, Master had to ship out an item and found it very easy to just use my supplies. Which is fine as long as you do it correctly and not waste a whole roll for one thing!

I had offered last night to help him package it up, but he said no “tomorrow”

Today I recieve a text  message and a pic.

Master: Who needs you!!!

I’m hiding my bubble  wrap from now on!!!

 

In & Out Not Just A Burger

22 Jun

The office cat is out to get us! He is a very spoiled cat that demands attention and his needs and wants must be taken care of NOW!
Because he likes to jump onto counters and knock stuff off at night, I put him away in one of the office rooms.  But he didn’t like it at all and had learned to open the door from the inside.  So I started locking it.

The Cat thought this is NOT ACCEPTABLE AT ALL! He decided to let us know by peeing on the couch that’s in that office. I got the message loud and clear.
Last night I decided to leave him in the reception area so he can lay on the counters.  I closed all the other office doors, even the one he used to be put away in. This morning we found out what he thought about that idea…… He opened the door to his old room got inside and pee’d again!

!