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A Hot Weekend

19 Dec

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It was  just as regular Saturday morning. I woke up around 8, it was cold cloudy and gloomy, perfect sleeping weather, so I decided to go back to bed and take a 30 min nap. Hey!  it’s still early, it’s the weekend, I can splurge on a little extra sleep.  Fast forward  4 hours later and 60 text alerts later I find myself waking up once again. I swear I only closed my eyes for a second!

Why am I alarmed? Good question! Did I have an appointment I just missed? Did the turkey burn in the oven? Did my morning strip-o-gram come and go? No……. Its Saturday! And  Saturdays usually mean one thing, its Costco day! Better known to the uninitiated out there as sampling day! Now I don’t need to profess to all the practiced and proficient samplers out there that you have to get to Costco early in order to try ALL the variety of  samples. Also, especially important, avoid the crowds of amateur Hodge Podge samplers! There’s a real art to this people!

In a panic, much like Macaulay Culkin in Home alone when He realizes he is left all by himself, I clench my face , bellow a subtle” Nooooooooo!”and hurry to shower and get ready to meet up with my sampling partner in crime.  He is known in 13 states as the “Costco Casanova”, In Australia he is referred to as the “Auburn Adonis”, in Acapulco as “El Chulo de Costco”, he is even rumored to be the fabled “Spicy Kim Chi Swooner” of Costcos in Korea! Most of us know him as Master.  I quickly began to properly stretch and limber up for the activities ahead! Don’t want to repeat the sampling cramp debacle of 2008  again! Everyone knows not to swim for half an hour after eating, but nooooo! No one warns you to stretch before beginning sampling! Ha! That’s why this is not for the amateurs, timid or weak of heart! On a side note, the legwarmers and the “flash dance” outfit I wear to stretch and prepare still look ever as cool as they did in the mid 80’s! Awesome! just Awesome! dare I even say Legendary!  Ever so slightly in the background I hear the high pitched screech of a supercharger, then the thunderous roar of the engine…. Master is here! We first stop at the PO Box to see if I have any last minute Christmas gifts from my FB, Twitter or blogging friends (ehm! hint, hint).  I find an unassuming manila envelope and a pretty purple envelope (thanks Josef) waiting for me. Oh! As I glanced at the return address on the manila envelope, my heart skipping a little and my mouth began to slightly drool, it was the promised beef jerky from a fellow PGPeep.  It turns out I was one of the lucky 10 peeps to receive Mr. Keith BigBabyJesus Brower’s home made beef jerky. Since I wanted to savor every bite, and absolutely NO FOOD is allowed in the AMG, I decide (some might say FORECD with threats of bodily harm) to wait and not open my surprise beef jerky gift until I was safe back at the office.

Normally on a weekend, it takes about an hour just to find a suitable parking space. Add the fact that it is December and its one week away from Christmas, of course it’s a mad house in the parking lot! Not to worry, I have complete confidence in Masters driving ability. You need to have professional driving skills; I mean Grand Prix kind not just regular, I passed the DMV test so now I can drive skills. Reaction times must be swift, braking and acceleration response must be rapid. Eyes open for rogue shopping carts, unassuming people haphazardly waiting and blocking the street, cars pulling out without looking,  the  sense of danger on high alert, eyes wide open for that oh so prime parcel of parking space or any space at all for that matter. There! There! I shriek! A premiere parking space about to open by an elderly lady leaving.  Before I could finish the “…re” from me screaming “There”, Master had already gunned the engine, dropped into 1st gear and was drifting sideways in a billow of tire smoke into the parking space! Mere seconds after and inches behind the vacating car. Bravo! Bravo I say!

Once parked we went straight to the food section where the net haired maidens were distributing the various morsels of sampling delight. We have to make up for all the lost time! Me being the professional sampler that I am, I quickly mapped out my sampling route… Fruits, cheeses, guacamole, tamales, ham, calamari (that’s a tricky one… long lines for those), should I risk it? I turn and tell Master “Lets do this thing!” With the skills of a ninja I hit the first couple of stands. Not only do I get my own samples but I must also manage to get Master his samples.  Master knows the drill, he with his superstar looks distracts the ladies while I snatch the goodies. Boom! Done and done! Off we go onto the next table! Yet again, like deer in headlights, all the housewives swoon and look away to gaze at Master the Costco Casanova, Muha ha ha ha , I get two more samples!   All was going well until a lady bumps me with her shopping cart! Owwwwwwww! As I bend down to rub my ankle she quickly snatched the last two samples from the tray! Oh no you didn’t!!  Can this be! Could there be a woman unaffected by Masters remarkable charms? Can she really absorb all that enchanting alluring charisma and simply focus on the samples! How could this be! Is she far sighted? She cant see? Does she play for the “other team”? Or is she just a trained professional!

Imagine the rest of what happens in slow motion! I erect myself to full stature.  Somehow wind is blowing in my hair… My scarf flaps ever so rhythmically… I hear heroic music begin to play… I puff my chest and am about to yell like king Leonidas  “THIS…. IS…. PKITASS!!!!!!” and retaliate!  When all of a sudden everything went back to normal speed as the sweet aroma of a smoked salmon sample that Master quickly handed me calmed me down sufficiently to impeded my retaliatory actions! Never underestimate the power of smoked fish!  The lady smirked ever so condescendingly and left.  Perhaps I was unable to retaliate, but by gosh, if looks could kill! she would have been dead several times over. I think I have just met my Costco nemesis! Game On “Shin Hurting with Shopping Cart Sample Stealing Lady” or SHWSCSSL! Game On!

Back at the office, once everything was put away, I proceed to open my package. I was very very excited to discover what culinary delight was in store for me. I had heard so many good things about Mr. Brower’s beef jerky.  Remember the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark when they finally open the Ark of the Covenant and all the ghost like entities escape and float around right before they turn demonic and kill everyone? Imagine the same thing… Just without Nazis or a bullwhip packing archeologist tied to a post.   As I slowly began  to rip the package open I immediately got a whiff of the meaty goodness that was to be in my mouth soon.  I had been pre-warned that it would be spicy and to take certain precautions while handling it.  Ha I say! Ha!  I’m of Mexican decent! I come from a long proud line of chili eaters. As a kid, we used to eat chilies as candy for Halloween!  How bad can it possible be? I take my first bite and proclaim with much bravado to Master, HA! It’s not as bad as they all said it would be.  However, just like in Raiders! the ghost angels quickly turned into demons and…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! You have to give it a few seconds for All the wonderful spiciness to fully permeate your mouth! It doesn’t hit you right away, It actually lets you enjoy and savor the sweetness of the beef jerky first then when you least expect it BAM!

Over all it was a very tasty experience! So what if your mouth goes numb afterwards! Who cares if everything tastes the same the entire weekend! the taste of the  jerky makes all worth it.  Mr. Brower thank you for the treat, you can burn my mouth with your meat anytime.

 

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Kittens anyone?

2 May

How was everyone’s weekend? Great I hope.

Well I really don’t have anything interesting to blog about but I do have some cute kitty pictures how about I show you that.

TCI Master found some kittens outside about a week ago and brought them in so we could take them to the shelter. But it turns out that the shelter wouldn’t  guarantee  that they wouldn’t be put to sleep, since the kittens are so small still and need to be bottle fed we were told that they just don’t have the time or man power to take care of them.  Both of us being the animal lovers that we are decided to take on the role of foster parents.  How could we not?  Just look at them.

Fostering cats and kittens has its rewards as well as its drawbacks.

First of all we had to bath them several times since they were infested with fleas and we didn’t want the dogs to get fleas. Have you ever tried picking fleas from a wiggling kitty? Not as easy as the monkeys make it look. We couldn’t use flea dip since they are to young.

You need to have lots of patience and  the physical stamina to tend to their physical needs, which  include bottle-feeding newborns around the clock every two-three hours. I got the night shift which drove me up a wall. I felt my nerves starting to crack their little cries are torturing especially in the middle of the night. TCIMaster had the day shift also very draining but not as much as the night shift when one is trying to get some sort of shut eye.

Then there is the act  of making  them go to the bathroom, you have to stimulate them to pee. Mommy cats lick their booties to make them go. Let me tell you kitten booty not so tasty (yuck). They are finally starting to use a litter box so that good news, I don’t know how much longer my tongue was going to last.

 

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They are now starting to run, slip and slide everywhere. They love following us everywhere and running in between our feet. Its gotten so bad that we end up performing acrobatic acts just to avoid stepping on them. Little buggers move quickly and they love climbing up our legs. Have you ever tried using the bathroom with a kitten trying to climb up your leg? Its not a pretty sight that’s for sure.  Needless to say our legs are full of tiny kitten scratches as well as our hands and arms. TCIMaster even has a scratch on his nose! 

They are taking over the place! They have even taken over the doggy beds, which makes for very moody pups. I’m sure the doggies will be happy to see them leave and get their bed back.

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They should be ready to be adopted in a week or two. Meanwhile we get the joy of watching them play and grow. If anyone would like one let me know, of course you will need to live somewhere in southern California and now I can hear them crying , its time for their next feeding and if I don’t hurry my legs and fingers will pay the price for not attending to them quickly enough.

Lake to Late ana…….

27 Oct

When master gets a craving for steak there is nothing that can reel him back from satisfying his oh so primal urge for that perfect cut of meat seared to perfection on an open primeval fire. This is no tranquil and stress-free undertaking. Not by any stretch of the imagination! No modest and unassuming piece of beef from the oh so scanty meager, peasant class, meat section of the stereotypically generic grocery store will do! No No No! Master laughs at the mere notion of shopping at a Ralphs or Vons! Ha! Ha I say!  He has come to cautiously and judiciously have faith in the high volume of “USDA PRIME” cuts of Beef sold at Costco. Unusual! Yes I agree! But tasting is believing! The difference in quality from the hum drum slab of meat from the local grocery store to the selection at Costco is not insignificant! It is paramount! Perhaps not worth 3 times the cost per lb for the average pallet, however, for those taste buds that do understand, it is pure food heaven. It is akin to spiritual enlightenment or maintaining a state of grace.

 So off we go! Costco Tally-Hoooooo. Have you ever been to Costco on a weekend?  If you have, I feel your pain. If not, I will try to explain. It takes a certain type of person to be able to look fear straight in the eyes and laugh!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha…. Lamented Master! No one could get in the way of his steak! Normally on a weekend, it takes about an hour just to find a parking space. It’s a mad house in the parking lot!  You need to have professional driving skills; I mean Grand Prix kind not just regular I passed the DMV test so now I can drive skills. Reaction times must be swift, sense of danger on high alert, eyes wide open for that oh so prime parcel of parking space. Master put the AMG in manual mode, his fingers gently caressing the paddle shifters on the steering wheel. The suspension was put into track mode and he lowered the car to its lowest setting in eager anticipation of what he might have to endure!  It seemed like half the valley was shopping at that Costco on Saturday! Was it Black Friday already? Were they giving away free gas? I can’t comprehend why so many people were there on that day. I scarcely overheard Master exhale an evil snicker and grimaced as we entered the parking lot. He was ready…. Right away people were honking at one another, uncaringly waiting in the middle of the lane in the hopes that a parking spot might miraculously appear. Some cars simply gunned it and raced through the gauntlet of cars only to be thwarted by another car that had sped even faster and drifted into the empty parking spot with such precision and exactitude that they would have even impressed The Stig. “Some say he is illegal in 17 US states, and he blinks horizontally…” But I Digress! There were little eighty year old ladies from Pasadena, who only drive their cars to go to church, giving each other the bird. But that’s not what this post is about. Nope! Needless to say, Master was able to find that perfect parking spot. Let’s just say that the years of going to Costco have trained him well, Nürburgring! Ha! Childs play! He is well overqualified for any common race track!

 Once safely parked and inside the store we quickly passed the rows and rows of unimportant items. 75 roll packs of toilet paper on the left, 100lb buckets of cat litter on the right, 200lb bags of dog food on the racks! No! All unimportant at this point! The only thing that mattered to Master was getting way in the back of the store to the food section.  Well, he calls it the food section; to me it is better known as the sampling department. As Master persuasively yet ever so gracefully sauntered to his beloved meat section, I, like a scout, began to observe, ever so unassumingly, at all the potential free sample stands. From the left corner of my peripheral view I noticed Master had arrived at the Rib-Eye section. His forcefully stance was elegant yet unmistakably prominent. His legs spread ever so slightly, his knees marginally stooped in anticipation of a potential “Fight or Flight” response. His arms somewhat pronounced and bowed, as if to keep predators away from his primordial hunt for that unadulterated unqualified masterfully cut piece of Beef.  He’s focused! Determined! Absorbed in his Quest! Maybe I can sneak away and stand in line for samples. Cheese and cracker! Tapenades! Sausages! More Cheese! What’s next? What’s next? As my hands are full of free samples I hear a strange grunt from afar… There it is again! Grunt Grunt Grunt Grunt! It’s getting louder and louder, a bit distinctive even! What could it be? A kid playing with a toy wolf three aisles to the left?  A German Shepard seeing eye dog a few aisles to the right? What could it be?  I scan the horizon of the store to discover the source of the commotion. Ha! I laugh! The grunts are coming from Master! He found the perfect steaks! It’s hilarious! All that was missing was a big fire in front of a cave and a loin cloth made of animal skin. Grunt Grunt Grunt! Emmmmmm! Grunt Grunt Grunt! As my laughter subsided, I faintly heard someone within a big crowd of people say “Lake to late ana punkin pie” Hmmm I must see what this is! What could possibly be causing a crowd of people to surround this sample table? I get closer and closer and notice that the poor sample lady is about to lose a limb merely attempting to put out her samples. People are snatching up the goods faster than she can set them down. She finally had to call for back up to help maintain order and contain the mob of freeloaders lingering in anticipation of the free goods she is soon to dispense.  Using all my secret ninja moves, and the years of Costco battlefield experience, I was able to get close enough to get a sample! Ok Ok Ok maybe I got two. Don’t Judge! I was still unable to comprehend how “Lake to late ana punkin pie” was in reference to Pumpkin Pie! I, very graciously and respectfully, asked if I may have my pieces of pie without the whipped cream. Never be rude to people that handle your food! She immediately and forcibly countered with a solid “NO!!” Do I look too thin I wondered? Was this older foreign lady telling me that I need more meat on my bones? I was about to point out that Master had just picked out Fred Flintstone sized steaks for dinner and that I was not squeamish about the calories, when I realized that the sample she was offering was not for the pumpkin pie! She was promoting the Whipped Cream! Hence the “Lake to late ana pumkin pie” which translates to Land-O-Lakes Whipped Cream with a Pumpkin Pie!

Laugh if you will! We obviously did not go to Costco to purchase whipped cream. However, the older lady blaring with a heavy foreign accent “Lake to late ana punkin pie” stuck in my mind the rest of time there. I was so amused that I was walking through the aisles laughingly reciting “Lake to late ana punkin pie”.  We didn’t end up buying a pumpkin pie, nevertheless I was able to convince Master to buy the oversized 3-Pack of Land-O-Lake whipped cream! He still queries as to how am I to use so much whipped cream! Silly Silly Master! As if there is a good reason not to use whipped cream! Whipped cream on waffles, Whipped cream on toast, Whipped cream on ice cream, Whipped cream on cereal, heck! Whipped cream on hot dogs even! All I know is that I truly enjoy my “Lake to late ana ********” fill in the blank. I sniker like a school girl every time I use the whipped cream as I reminisce how, sometimes, you are able to buy happiness! Happiness, this particular time, just happened to be a giant 3-pack of “Lake to late”

Tiki Tiki is VIP

1 Oct

Tiki Tiki seems to have his good days and his not so great days .  There are days when he wakes up and he looks like a frat boy just getting home from an all nighter, stumbling across the floor to get to his favorite bed in the kitchen and spending all day sleeping  just waking up to get a drink of water and some food.  Mind you he doesn’t seem to be in any pain what so ever.  Just very tired or hung over.  My theory is this Master is secretly having him sneak out at night and using him as his wing man.  It makes perfect sense what better wingman then Tiki Tiki? Who, male or female, would be able to resist the powers of Tiki Tiki?  Tiki tiki’s powers, of course, are used to get into places without a reservation; there isn’t a red velvet rope that can hold him back. He is always on the list. Together, Master and Tiki Tiki, are dining and wine’ing at the best restaurants in town till the wee hours of the night.

Yes it all makes perfect sense now. This is what is going on that’s why some days he seems so tired. I’ll have to set down a couple of rules with Master

  1. Don’t keep him out to late.
  2. Only 2 times per week
  3.  Bring back a doggy bag.

 

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Green Means More……..

28 Sep

If you have read any of my other blogs, you will obviously call to mind that food is taken very seriously here! Very Very Seriously! When it comes to new food adventures, we have done it all! Well practically…. We have had enough sushi to put a dent in migrating habits of yellowtail tuna! We have tried every part of a pig except the squeal! There must be a boogie man story in chicken dens that mother chickens tell their young chicks. Eat all your seeds and go to bed or Pkitass and master will eat you! We have had every incarnation of chicken one can think of: fried, rotisserie, baked, grilled, smoked, BBQ’d, stir-fried, boiled, shish kabob, don’t I sound like Bubba from Forrest Gump explaining all the kinds of ways one can cook shrimp (boiled shrimp, bbq shrimp, etc.). Master himself has a Zen like appreciation of any and all things beef! He hears angels singing in the clouds and the sun shines like a beacon upon him when he finds that perfectly marbleized prime cut of Rib Eye or porterhouse.  

Last week was Master’s Birthday! He is now thirty ei-mh-mh- (making throat noises) years old.  That’s right in a couple of years I will be expecting to see Master arrive to work with his hair dyed platinum blond or really really dark black sporting tight leather pants while riding a Harley with a 21 year old blond sitting in the back. 

In honor of his birthday and to commemorated his thirty ei-mh-mh- (making throat noises) years of making the local female population every so happy, we decided to celebrate his many many many contributions to the female half of civilization by partaking in the Brazilian gaucho tradition of Churrasco and going to Picanha Churrascaria.  Churrasco is the Brazilian word for barbecue and Picanha is all you can eat baby! You guessed it! It’s the Brazilian version of an all you can eat BBQ. Well, with a twist! This isn’t your traditional BBQ place of baby back ribs and pulled pork with a heavy BBQ sauce. Nope!  Churrasco describes a 300 year old Brazilian tradition that originated in the pampas, or prairie ranchlands, of Brazil.  In the churrasco tradition, gauchos (Brazilian cowboys) barbequed marinated beef pork and poultry on long skewers over an open fire pit. Imagine every kind of cut on meat on shish kabob skewers on steroids! When you are seated at your table, there is no menu to order from, instead what you get is a small wooden cylinder the size of a salt shaker with green on one end and red on the other. Yup! You guessed it! Green means GO!! And… I think, from what I’ve been told, Red means STOP. Not that we ever bothered with that end of the indicator!! Once the Green is facing up on your table, a myriad of traditionally dressed Brazilian gauchos (cowboys) with riding boots, hefty leather belts and whips begin a graceful dance of sizzling meat! Each gaucho carries a sword ladened with various types of meats crackling and hissing straight from the fire pit. The skewered meat is carved right onto your plate so you always get that super tasty and savory outer caramelized portions of each cut. That night alone we enjoyed a flurry of fire roasted meats including Fillet Mignon, Garlic Steak, Tri Tip, Bacon Wrapped Chicken, Sirloin Tip, Pork ribs, Spicy Chicken, Mongolian Steak, Polish Sausage, Linguica (Brazilian sausage), Parmesan Pork Loin, Masters favorite (Pichanha, a super choice part of top Sirlion mariniated in garlic and zesty pepers), and My favorite (Leg of lamb marinated with lemons garlic and oregano).

Waiters at Picanha

Being a renowned veteran of the Korean BBQ scene, and having prepared all day in anticipation of the overindulgently boundless and amazingly flavorful debauchery of tantalizing carnal feast, I thought that my malicious and malevolent gastronome partner and I would do some serious damage to this Brazilian manifestation of meaty delight.  We hit the ground running! It was surreal… all one could notice were the whip wearing blue shirts in a seemingly chaotic yet oh so well-orchestrated prance of sizzling meats!

Look at all the meats!

 

Tri tip? Why sure!

Fellet Mignon? But of course!

Polish and Brazillian Sausages? Now who could say no to sausage?

Picanha? Ha ha ha.. need you ask?

Pork ribs? Heck give me two!

Leg of Lamb? Ehm…. Can you just leave the entire skewer?

Multiply above conversation by 5 or 6

After 45 min or so… I saw it! I almost cried in the middle of the restaurant! Noooooooooooooooo! Say it aint so! Say it aint so! The dreaded look of defeat in Masters eyes was apparent! How could this have happened? How? What could have caused this? Did he go to a breakfast buffet in the morning that I didn’t know about? Did he just come from a luau? How can he be full already! Only 45 min in!!! HOW??? Its grilled meats for gosh sake! GRILLED MEATS!!

What can I say? Master is obviously not the fearlessly gluttons connoisseur of all things meat that he used to be! It must be the age! Thirty ei-mh-mh- (making throat noises) years has put a toll on the reinforced, some say armored, indestructibly durable stomach of his!

When it came time to pay, I obviously jumped out of my seat and grabbed the check. I guess if he can’t eat like a man, It will be up to me to undertake the burdens of Manly tasks! Pansy! ( Buuuuuuurp….  Scratching my crotch!) You see, not hard at all! Like any Manly baller, I didn’t even look at the bill! I just whipped out the cold hard cash from my purse…. Ehm back pocket…. And put it on top of the check.

Paying the bill with an oversized $100 bill.

The anticipation of the waiter to come and get the check was almost as fun as all the meats we consumed that night.  With a very serious face, fighting very hard the overwhelming urgency to laugh my head off, I began a conversation with Master as the unassuming waiter attempted to collect the check for dinner… I just couldn’t hold it! I had to laugh! And not just laugh a little, but laugh like you laugh when you’re in 4th grade and the kid across the table accidently farts during lunch in a very quiet cafeteria and the milk you were drinking squirts from your nostrils because your laughter was just so uncontrollable! Never the less, our waiter was not as amused as we were! Who cares! It was all well worth it! Another delightful epicurean experience notch in my belt!

Labor Day Trip for Master’s Gift?

3 Sep

Happy Labor Weekend Day

I wish you all have a great Labor Day weekend. May this Labor Day be even better than last year and your tummies be filled with great food, and awesome drinks.

As for me I’ll be soaking up some much needed sun on the beaches of Ensenada in Baja California! Ya baby! I’m taking a little trip south of the border. And I’m planning on having a great little vacation. Well I’m hoping it will be a great trip. Who knows what will happen this weekend, I’m not taking this trip alone. Nope! With me will be my daughter, which is no big deal, but also in this little adventure will be my mother, father, my sister and her two little boys. The whole family together is a recipe for disaster.  Heads will be butting, tempers and voices will rise, attitudes spewed, and children will be crying.  Like most family outings, things will inevitably get ugly. Where to eat? What to buy Master? What to eat? What to buy Master? What to do next? What to buy Master? Who sleeps where? What to buy Master? Who’s watching the children? What to buy Master? Hey… Where are the children? Yikes!!! Did I mention what to buy Master?  As I’m writing this I’m starting to get cold feet, maybe it’s not that great of an idea to take this trip.

Like a lot of other families, distance somehow helps us love each other even more.  Bottom line is that family is family and we get together only once or twice a year, so I’ll do my best to keep the peace.

On a side note I’ll be back with lots of pictures to share with you all!

Master decide to share some input in this post, can you guess what?

That’s Amore!

1 Sep

  

In the mood for Pizza? Ask Master to make you one,

A while back Master made pizzas to share with clients. However, most didn’t believe that the pizza’s had been hand made from scratch at the office! So, as proof, we made this little slide show for them.

P.S. Hope you enjoyed it, now taking orders

Friday Friday Friday!

27 Aug

Do you know what today is?  It’s Friday! Friday, Friday, Friday, FRIDAAAY!

What does Friday mean to you? For some it means that tonight you’ll jump start the weekend by hitting some cool places to get your drinking on.

For me, ultimately, Friday means the beginning of a two day holiday! Woohoo!!  A super-duper, mind numbing, deliciously scrumptious, yummy, delectable, mouthwatering, almost orgasmic Master’s patented Super Saturday Dinner. I’m drooling as I write.  Sundays are reserved for some much needed rest and relaxation to recoup from the stress of the entire week not to mention digestion of the Saturdays feast. In honor of my most favorite business day of the week; I give you a little Friday song.

Have a great weekend, you can tell me all about it on Monday.

Tiki Tiki Tells All

25 Aug

Post told by Tiki Tiki

Hello everybody! It’s me Tiki Tiki the very cute Chihuahua, today I am borrowing Pkitass blog because I want to share some news with you about Twitter……… Yup that’s right you can now follow me on twitter @Tikitikitempo.  If Pkitass hasn’t told you already, we live in the valley where it is very very very hot these days.  Since I’ve been a good boy lately and using my weewee pad (most of the time), Master thought that I deserved to have ice cream. I don’t know why he made it such a small cone!!! I wanted everyone to see how lucky I am so I thought I would share. In case anyone out there is wondering, its gween tee ice cweam!

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Mad Scientist At Work

16 Aug

Master has decided to turn everyone in the office into his personal guinea pigs.  Amongst all the other titles he holds: Gigolo, lady killer, God’s gift to women, Daper Don, south of the border he is known as Suavesito, El Don Juan and Papi Chulo; but experimental chef is the one he enjoys using the most.

 And like every great mad scientist throughout history, he too has his secrete lab hidden in the back of the office. It is a fully equipped commercial kitchen that would put most restaurants to shame.  It has practically every piece of heavy duty equipment a trained chef would require, not to mention all the cool tools needed to experiment with the unorthodox science master calls his interpretation of gastronomy!  The office is by no means a restaurant; although we are fully equipped to act like one if needed.  Imagine more a museum of eclectic and unique items in corky yet amazingly classical setting.  As most things in the office are over the top, so is the super kitchen Master calls his lair. We take food very seriously here! Very Seriously! People have been fired for bringing McDonalds to the office! Dominos drivers are afraid to make deliveries on this block!

Master at work, me in the back dancing.

This Saturday Master decided to work on his BBQ technique and purchased half a side of pig to play with. 

I’m not sure what exactly goes on in his lab. All I know is that he started around 1:00 and spent hours mixing spices and herbs. He made dozens of rubs and a myriad of marinades. Sometimes the true mad scientist in him would emerge and he would push the envelope and mix volatile spices together just to see what would happen. Needless to say, the building had to be evacuated more than just once! Thank goodness for that industrial ventilation system in the hood! After hours of work preparing the meat with injections, rubs, and marinades, the ribs were slow smoked for hours and hours. We finally Ate at 8:30! 7 hours of work for super ribs! Can you imagine! Caramelized smoky crust, so succulent that the juices would freely run down the side of your mouth, so tender the luscious meat simply falls of the bone! You don’t even need any teeth!

If being experimented on is going to be like this; this little guinea pig does not want to be freed from the lab. Oink Oink Baby!