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Many Moons Ago

29 May

Wordpress moons

 

Many, many, moons ago I posted a Missed Connection ad in Craigslist. Do you guys remember? If not here is the link to that post . Well it turns out that one the many gentlemen who were gracious enough to take the time to respond found out that I had written about my Missed Connection ad and that I had shared his response on my blog.

His response to my Criagslist ad:

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Not wanting to lose that special connection we once had he decided to leave me a comment:

 

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Could it be that even after all this he is still interested? Should I stop shaving and let my fur start growing out? After all, he does seem to have a sense of humor and isn’t that what every girl wants in a man? Maybe….. jusssssst maybe he is my Mr. Right or perhaps after I post this I will mysteriously  disappear and will  never be seen or heard of again.

Just in case :/ someone check up on me in a month or so.

Mr. Nottafastguy kudos to you for having a sense of humor and I promise this is the last time I mention you. Unless you decide to reply to another one of my missed connection 🙂 Bwahaha Bwahaha

I just don’t learn 🙂

Missed Connections

1 Jan

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It’s the very first day of 2012 and I find myself a bit bored so what did I decide to do? What better way to keep myself entertained but to take the Craigslist: Missed Connections Writing Challenge that my fellow blogger Tom from Shouts from the Abyss posted way back last year Smile head on over to his page and read what he posted.

The challenge is this: Write your own “Missed Connections” post for the Craigslist forums. In case you didn’t know, that’s the section of Craigslist reserved for real life encounters where you got excited, were too chicken, then later wished you had hooked up. (Had sex.)

This is fiction folks. So keep it real. There is no word limit or rules of any kind. For bonus points actually go to Craigslist and post your entry (in the locale of your choice) and see what kind of responses you get.

Take your time, think it over, then post it on your own blog to participate in the “challenge,” if you wanna. If not, that’s cool, too. I’ll be the one looking you up on Craigslist. Peace. Out.

So here is what I posted in my city’s Craigslist:

“You were driving on the 405 South when you purposely cut me off. By what I could tell on your side view mirror you have a full dark beard and nice hairy, hairy arms. You were talking on your phone in a lifted dark green F-350 XL with the windows down. We caught eyes several times and I’m sure you couldn’t have missed my "you’re number one" finger sign because we finally smiled at each other while slowly traveling down the 405. This was last week sometime during morning rush hour. YOU looked HOT and I’d love to see more of that fur! Email me if you read this and on the subject line include make and color of my vehicle.

Cheers”

I just did this today so I don’t have any responses just yet! But stay tuned I will be posting all if any replies here on my blog.

Let me and my pal Tom at Shouts know if you too decide to get crazy  in 2012 and post your own missed connection.

Hey, who knows maybe I’ll find Mr.Right

A Hot Weekend

19 Dec

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It was  just as regular Saturday morning. I woke up around 8, it was cold cloudy and gloomy, perfect sleeping weather, so I decided to go back to bed and take a 30 min nap. Hey!  it’s still early, it’s the weekend, I can splurge on a little extra sleep.  Fast forward  4 hours later and 60 text alerts later I find myself waking up once again. I swear I only closed my eyes for a second!

Why am I alarmed? Good question! Did I have an appointment I just missed? Did the turkey burn in the oven? Did my morning strip-o-gram come and go? No……. Its Saturday! And  Saturdays usually mean one thing, its Costco day! Better known to the uninitiated out there as sampling day! Now I don’t need to profess to all the practiced and proficient samplers out there that you have to get to Costco early in order to try ALL the variety of  samples. Also, especially important, avoid the crowds of amateur Hodge Podge samplers! There’s a real art to this people!

In a panic, much like Macaulay Culkin in Home alone when He realizes he is left all by himself, I clench my face , bellow a subtle” Nooooooooo!”and hurry to shower and get ready to meet up with my sampling partner in crime.  He is known in 13 states as the “Costco Casanova”, In Australia he is referred to as the “Auburn Adonis”, in Acapulco as “El Chulo de Costco”, he is even rumored to be the fabled “Spicy Kim Chi Swooner” of Costcos in Korea! Most of us know him as Master.  I quickly began to properly stretch and limber up for the activities ahead! Don’t want to repeat the sampling cramp debacle of 2008  again! Everyone knows not to swim for half an hour after eating, but nooooo! No one warns you to stretch before beginning sampling! Ha! That’s why this is not for the amateurs, timid or weak of heart! On a side note, the legwarmers and the “flash dance” outfit I wear to stretch and prepare still look ever as cool as they did in the mid 80’s! Awesome! just Awesome! dare I even say Legendary!  Ever so slightly in the background I hear the high pitched screech of a supercharger, then the thunderous roar of the engine…. Master is here! We first stop at the PO Box to see if I have any last minute Christmas gifts from my FB, Twitter or blogging friends (ehm! hint, hint).  I find an unassuming manila envelope and a pretty purple envelope (thanks Josef) waiting for me. Oh! As I glanced at the return address on the manila envelope, my heart skipping a little and my mouth began to slightly drool, it was the promised beef jerky from a fellow PGPeep.  It turns out I was one of the lucky 10 peeps to receive Mr. Keith BigBabyJesus Brower’s home made beef jerky. Since I wanted to savor every bite, and absolutely NO FOOD is allowed in the AMG, I decide (some might say FORECD with threats of bodily harm) to wait and not open my surprise beef jerky gift until I was safe back at the office.

Normally on a weekend, it takes about an hour just to find a suitable parking space. Add the fact that it is December and its one week away from Christmas, of course it’s a mad house in the parking lot! Not to worry, I have complete confidence in Masters driving ability. You need to have professional driving skills; I mean Grand Prix kind not just regular, I passed the DMV test so now I can drive skills. Reaction times must be swift, braking and acceleration response must be rapid. Eyes open for rogue shopping carts, unassuming people haphazardly waiting and blocking the street, cars pulling out without looking,  the  sense of danger on high alert, eyes wide open for that oh so prime parcel of parking space or any space at all for that matter. There! There! I shriek! A premiere parking space about to open by an elderly lady leaving.  Before I could finish the “…re” from me screaming “There”, Master had already gunned the engine, dropped into 1st gear and was drifting sideways in a billow of tire smoke into the parking space! Mere seconds after and inches behind the vacating car. Bravo! Bravo I say!

Once parked we went straight to the food section where the net haired maidens were distributing the various morsels of sampling delight. We have to make up for all the lost time! Me being the professional sampler that I am, I quickly mapped out my sampling route… Fruits, cheeses, guacamole, tamales, ham, calamari (that’s a tricky one… long lines for those), should I risk it? I turn and tell Master “Lets do this thing!” With the skills of a ninja I hit the first couple of stands. Not only do I get my own samples but I must also manage to get Master his samples.  Master knows the drill, he with his superstar looks distracts the ladies while I snatch the goodies. Boom! Done and done! Off we go onto the next table! Yet again, like deer in headlights, all the housewives swoon and look away to gaze at Master the Costco Casanova, Muha ha ha ha , I get two more samples!   All was going well until a lady bumps me with her shopping cart! Owwwwwwww! As I bend down to rub my ankle she quickly snatched the last two samples from the tray! Oh no you didn’t!!  Can this be! Could there be a woman unaffected by Masters remarkable charms? Can she really absorb all that enchanting alluring charisma and simply focus on the samples! How could this be! Is she far sighted? She cant see? Does she play for the “other team”? Or is she just a trained professional!

Imagine the rest of what happens in slow motion! I erect myself to full stature.  Somehow wind is blowing in my hair… My scarf flaps ever so rhythmically… I hear heroic music begin to play… I puff my chest and am about to yell like king Leonidas  “THIS…. IS…. PKITASS!!!!!!” and retaliate!  When all of a sudden everything went back to normal speed as the sweet aroma of a smoked salmon sample that Master quickly handed me calmed me down sufficiently to impeded my retaliatory actions! Never underestimate the power of smoked fish!  The lady smirked ever so condescendingly and left.  Perhaps I was unable to retaliate, but by gosh, if looks could kill! she would have been dead several times over. I think I have just met my Costco nemesis! Game On “Shin Hurting with Shopping Cart Sample Stealing Lady” or SHWSCSSL! Game On!

Back at the office, once everything was put away, I proceed to open my package. I was very very excited to discover what culinary delight was in store for me. I had heard so many good things about Mr. Brower’s beef jerky.  Remember the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark when they finally open the Ark of the Covenant and all the ghost like entities escape and float around right before they turn demonic and kill everyone? Imagine the same thing… Just without Nazis or a bullwhip packing archeologist tied to a post.   As I slowly began  to rip the package open I immediately got a whiff of the meaty goodness that was to be in my mouth soon.  I had been pre-warned that it would be spicy and to take certain precautions while handling it.  Ha I say! Ha!  I’m of Mexican decent! I come from a long proud line of chili eaters. As a kid, we used to eat chilies as candy for Halloween!  How bad can it possible be? I take my first bite and proclaim with much bravado to Master, HA! It’s not as bad as they all said it would be.  However, just like in Raiders! the ghost angels quickly turned into demons and…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! You have to give it a few seconds for All the wonderful spiciness to fully permeate your mouth! It doesn’t hit you right away, It actually lets you enjoy and savor the sweetness of the beef jerky first then when you least expect it BAM!

Over all it was a very tasty experience! So what if your mouth goes numb afterwards! Who cares if everything tastes the same the entire weekend! the taste of the  jerky makes all worth it.  Mr. Brower thank you for the treat, you can burn my mouth with your meat anytime.

 

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A Tan and Freckles

15 Aug

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This summer I have found myself  going to the beach almost every weekend. It has helped me a bit to get out of my usual daily routine. But I have come across a small problem or two, you see I’m normally very light skin so I burn/tan very easily and have now found myself looking more like George Hamilton and Snooki then the Pkitass we have all come to know and love.  The sun also causes me to pop out more freckles, *pop* see there’s a new one now *pop* and there’s another one.

Even my sister this past weekend commented on how dark I looked and that I had way to many more freckles.

Evilo: Daaaamn……..pretty soon you’re just going to be one big freckle.

Me: Yeah, *sigh* thanks I love you too.

Yes, I lather on the sun block every time I go out. I’ve gone so far as to purchase a 100 spf sunblock for my face but I don’t think its working *pop* dam it! stupid freckles stop it already. *pop*

So does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get my regular skin color back? Maybe an old country remedy to remove freckles? Bleach, sandpaper, lemon? at this point I’ll try anything just don’t ask me to stop going to the beach.

*pop, pop, pop* I give up!

Ensenada Adventure

9 Aug

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So this weekend I drove down to Ensenada Baja California Mex. to visit my sister and her kids. I won’t bore you all with the details but let just say the drive there took 4 hrs and the drive back was 7 hrs! My sister can’t say I don’t love her. 11 hours of my precious weekend wasted just so I can see my lovely sister and nephews.

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So what do you think we did with the little precious time that we had?

Well go planking of course!

Have you heard about Planking? Planking is the new craze sweeping across the states, why even Hugh Hefner has planked. Planking consists of  lying flat on your stomach with your arms and hands by your side and your legs and feet pointed straight out.  Usually someone else will then  take a photo and post it on  social networking sites.

It seems harmless enough right? Actually it’s a very dangerous act. A man in Australia plunged to his death from a 7th story balcony. Police said the man, in his 20s, fell from a balcony railing in Brisbane while a friend photographed him attempting a planking stunt.

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Yeah we got a couple of odd looks from people but who cares we were having fun!

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I also caught my sister’s kissing her new boyfriend.

EWWWWWW!!

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Till next time!

 

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Choco Bueller’s Day Off

10 Jun

You might ask yourself… Why Pkitass? Why?? Why do you take so many chances and try to get free coffee from unsuspecting businesses when you can just fork over a couple of dollars at the local coffee shop and buy coffee like the rest of us?

Let me explain…

As our generation slowly progresses further and further into adulthood, I’ve noticed that youth is truly wasted on the young. Imagine all the things you could have done when you were young and carefree. No work… No Bills… No Kids… No mortgage… Just the vast unadulterated future ahead full of wondrous possibilities.

I, along with most others from the cool 80’s generation, have begun to miss the carefree days of parachute pants and the awesome original MTV videos. One of my fondest memories of Junior High was when there was a teacher assembly scheduled for half a day. Instead of sending everyone home, they gathered us in the auditorium and showed Ferris Bueller’s day off.

So, unlike others (ehm ehm) that buy insanely expensive fancy German sports cars and blast “Land down under” with the top down, my attempt at regaining my youth is to be mischievous and get away with my playfully naughty coffee adventures just like Ferris got away with his day off.

In the resonantly famous words of Ferris: “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you can miss it!”

 

 

A Chococat Adventure

3 Jun

Its not the adrenaline pumping thrill of the chase that scars me..

Getting potentially caught doesn’t scare me…

Embarrassment… Awkwardness… Humiliation… Harassment….  HA!!! I laugh at thee!!!

What scares  me might you ask?  Well, when it comes to my weekly coffee escapade, what scares me the most is how my sensitive tummy is going to react to the sludgy mud water a vast majority of institutions somehow consider to be coffee.

So for this weeks big adventure, Chococat, with his cool and suave Sinatra Fedora on, will show you how I get into a business that I know for a fact has somewhat decent coffee.

Since Chococat felt suave and smooth with his classic fedora, we decided to record our intrusion with a black and white 1920’s homage.

Enjoy.

 

Secret Post

25 May

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Below is a secret post written in invisible ink. In order to read it you will need to print it out and hold it in front of a light bulb or a candle. But its much easier if you have the special glasses I mailed out last week.

Enjoy ! Open-mouthed smile

This post really isn’t about anything, I just wanted to see how many people would try to read it or actually print it out and hold in front of a light bulb or candle.

I swear if you can figure out how to  read this message then you’re the bomb! Give yourself a pat in the back.

Also please write the following sentence and finish it to prove that you read this.

“Jump in, Jump out, Jump______”

Now SHHHHH don’t tell anyone about this.

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Sometimes I Just Want to Kiss You

12 May

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Need I say more?

Candid Coffee

29 Apr

Happy Friday!

They say a picture is worth a 1000 words… I wonder how many words a video is worth?

Without further ado… Here is my first attempt!

Attempt 1

After all that hard work… Carefully tiptoeing in, trying to act nonchalant as if I belong there, even going as far as making direct contact with employees, that oddly enough are not alarmed at my casual pace and determined course, FAIL! The Coffee Pot was empty!!!

EMPTY!!!!

‘Tis a lesson you should heed, try, try again. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

Back to the original Crime Scene… Hoping someone had made a fresh pot of coffee..

In order not to be so obvious, I placed my iPhone in my shirt pocket and walked into their office with the video function recording; hence the odd camera angles.

Attempt Number Duex

Attempt 2

 

Great Success!

Hope everyone enjoyed my adventure!

Have a great weekend people.