Not For The Weak of Heart

20 May
Coffee Mission


This week’s video should have been longer but for some reason my phone kept stopping mid video. I was able to get 3 short clip that I  put together for you.  After watching the video, I noticed that you couldn’t really see the kitchenette. So, to provide the cinematic experience that I’m sure all of you are expecting and have come accustomed to, I went back later that day to take some additional pictures.  Don’t they say a thief always goes back to the scene of the crime?

This weeks coffee target was unimpressive to say the least. The kitchen was super tiny and very sloppy. It almost felt like the kitchen was an afterthought. That some mid level manager had an epiphany that perhaps employees might need to get water or coffee while toiling away in the maze of cubicles.  They even had a copier in the already claustrophobically small space. The only upside to the unorganized mess of the kitchenette was that they, to my surprise, actually had various types of sugars and creamers. Unfortunately I would soon find out why such variety was necessary.

NOW about the coffee. Who in the world are these people and what is it they do there? Was it the administrative office of  the living dead? Was this place a front for aliens pretending to be ordinary office workers so that they can blend in and learn our ways? The freaking coffee was SOOOO strong! Ungodly Strong! Not strong like TCIMaster’s potent espressos! Nope… This was more like concentrated sludge. Romulan Ale. Coffee colored moonshine. Surplus solvent mixed with the hint of used coffee grinds from another office! I should have stopped drinking and thrown the coffee (if you can call it that) away after taking the first sip! Why don’t I ever learn!? Perhaps because I was always taught “waste not what not”. Silly me ended up finishing the entire cup of coffee(industrial solvent).

So you say, Big Deal! its just bad tasting coffee!? No my dear friends… NO! I kid you not, I think they either accentuate their office coffee experience with the addition of speed or heroin just for an extra kick.   After drinking that one and only cup of coffee I ended up having the shakes all day, my heart was racing continually, and I’m pretty sure I could feel my fingernails and hair growing. Are you supposed to be able to see through walls?  How these people sleep after drinking their coffee is beyond me. They should post a warning sign and require “outsiders” to sign a waiver.   This is the price I pay for my frugality! One a side note, I did notice a rather prolific patch of dense hair on my chest the next morning.  Huh.. Maybe this could be used as a supplement to Rogaine!

Rating is 5 shocked faces Surprised smileSurprised smileSurprised smileSurprised smileSurprised smile 

For the rest of the day  I walked around like Corky Romano.  If anyone out there needs their fix, let me know! I can get this stuff much cheaper than your local crack, meth or crank dealer! Same effect, yet considerably cheaper!

This was me all day

7 Responses to “Not For The Weak of Heart”

  1. marinasleeps May 20, 2011 at 13:23 #

    Where is the love button!!!
    I love this. I was laughing so hard because it looked like you were walking to the beat of the sily trumpet melody!.
    Ahhh Pkitass you had me at ba na na
    They make coffee like that at my work. Its like gasoline. Scratch that… it might be too potent for my Tahoe.
    I gotta water that stuff down or I will be like you… acting like a damn crack head

    • Pkitass May 20, 2011 at 23:15 #

      If the coffee at your office can be used as fuel. Could you please bottle some up and send it my way. Gas here is expensive.

  2. GinaTheMinPin May 20, 2011 at 14:06 #

    You were lucky — every time Mommy drinks sludge that masquerades as coffee, she gets a bad case of the Trotskys! (Trotskies???) You’re a real trooper…

    • Pkitass May 20, 2011 at 23:17 #

      The things I do for all of you. Bad coffee also gives me the corre les (runs)

  3. The Blankety Blank Blogger May 20, 2011 at 17:59 #

    Very NIce!!!!! You are my hero!!!! I especially liked the music:)

    • Pkitass May 20, 2011 at 23:19 #

      Catchy little tune isn’t it?

  4. Thypolar May 22, 2011 at 11:15 #

    Bravo! Bravo!

    You are the wind beneath my wings!

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